hm.

life is just one oddity after another

I felt quite invisible today.

except, oddly, with josh and vinny...both of whom i dont normally say much to in school.

and sharayah was all pissy in the morning...and pretty much didnt talk to me all day...or at least say anything other than "fine" or "good" or some phrase with a taste of attitude, just enough spice to make my eyes tear.

i didn't like today all that much.

and then i told her she looked pretty, and she said thank you.

and i kinda left her alone the rest of the day.

and in science research mr.hala was like the only one to aknowledge my existence i was kinda out of the circle and i just wanted to disappear.

jazz bowl was fun...i wasn't quite as invisible...and i bowled well for my standards. 13o the first game, 122 the second. Actually, for me, thats amazing. Usually I do average or fantastical during the first game, and then I drop like 50 points the next. However, I only dropped by 8. I was semi-elated.

vinny im actually kinda worried about him and the regents... i should offer to help him study or something cuz it'll force me to study despite my sudden and random new cockiness in the subject.


peter and gabrielle? hmm.






there are only three more days of classes. and that makes me happy in that there will be much less stress once school is done [aside from finals, even though i love finals week simply because the concept of only going in when you have a test and that means only like 3 or 4 days just makes me jump for joy]


but besides that, i'm worried again.
i dont know whats up with beef, but i dont want to end school on a bad note with her...idk she kinda jumped down my throat at one point and if stalbow hadnt cut in with a quote from like macarthur or whoever i would have like burst out.

which leads me to another reason i hated today

it brought back feelings of the time when i was so incredibly sensitive and everything would jerk a tear, insignificant things that dont even matter in the slightest.

i wasnt as bad as i was then by a large margin...but it wasn't a good feeling.













and I'm still unsure whether certain things are worth the trouble.

I just want to feel like someone is there for me like I can be there for them. I love to be needed.