Small hands

So I'm...confused...a little.
Not really confused, I know exactly whats where and where its at.
Its just, I'm confused as to why things are where they are.
It's been just about two weeks, and there are still a few residual feelings, and he's supposedly trying to win [back] my trust...but...all he's doing is...nothing really.
Yesterday...was noteworthy.
In the morning I was pimping the Sutz's...Matt on one arm, Mitch on the other..it was cool. I was like, [after the bell rang] I don't suppose you guys will be coming with me to class...and Matt goes well where's your class? I point, and he says yea sure, just in a couple minutes. So, for once I actually waited. And then after Anthony pointed out that it was time to go to class, we started walking backwards, but Mitch wouldn't come cuz his class was on D floor in the opposite direction...so Matt and I walk down the hallway- arms linked- and Shaun passes by and gives us a funny face/head shake.

Later on in the day Eddie asks me to pull up his pants.

[I felt that that was a noteworthy event...because I pulled them up for him:p]

Later, at Beccas, I was pimpin the Hausers...holding both Beccas and Pauls hands. Tehe.

And then at the football game...SO cold...sat between Sharayah and Matt, arms around both, but Matt puts his hand in my sleeve and then both of our hands in his sleeve for maximum warmth.

And then I had to go back to the trombone section...so I had Scott on my left and Dan on my right and i told them to huddle/get closer...shaun got cold so he moved in between scott and i...[i was always in the middle and brian is like immune to cold haha]

So first quarter I was linked/cuddling with Shaun on one side and Dan on the other [nice way to meet someone...haha]. Then Scott called trading with Dan for 2nd quarter, which he did. Sharayahs mommy brought me hot cocoa from Dunkin Donuts which was lovely!!

And then third quarter [the one we have off] I was linked with Sharayah and Joe...4th with Dan on the left and Scott on the right [Dan got there before Shaun]...so yeah that was interesting.

My elbows were nice and warm but my toes felt like they were about to fall off..


Went back to Beccas house afterwards...laying/defrosting on the chair with Marc and Matt...forced to go outside...blankets and slipper socks and sweatshirt...laying under the stars....petting Boots...trying to figure out who's hand was petting mine [by accident]...being able to distinguish Matts hand from Beccas by the fingernails without looking...I looked up at the perfect moment and saw a shooting star...it was beautiful...and I impulsively wished for something that confused me a lot...I shall not say it...
Before Shaun gave rides home to Matt/Marc/Tyy...I'd confused myself.




I don't want to say it out loud, or to anyone, especially my friends...because that would just make it more real and make it open for a conversation topic...a conversation that I don't want to have because its nothing serious and I don't want to magnify the situation by saying it...even though I'm already magnifying it by typing out the gist of it here...or at least parts to remind me of it...but I don't want to make it a big deal.


Gah.

I have small, skinny fingers. At least compared to...basically everyone else.


Kachina is trying to set me up with this new kid that she has a class and lunch with.

Which, is nice of her. To think of me. I'm not really thinking about it though, I have too many other things to worry about. If it happens, it happens [and also makes life more confusing.] If it doesnt, no harm done.





The point- I'm all over the place, and freezing my butt off.